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I don't know babe, I keep being three dimensional, as you are. I don't think I am ready for a homodimensional relationship.

When I was a senior in high school, being the rebel that I was, I decided to call in sick for myself and two of my friends so that we could dress up for Halloween, go downtown, and visit some museums. (I wish I was making that up.)

Being able to imitate my mom's voice well, I had the calling in thing pretty nailed down with school, however I was a little too paranoid covering my tracks with my dad. Basically, I went too far by unplugging the answering machine out of fear that the school may call to confirm my absence, which ultimately led to his suspicion.

So, after my parents left for work, I left for downtown in one of my dad's nice cars, parked the car, and went into our first museum. About an hour later, my cell phone rings. Being that it was the middle of the day and I was supposed to be in school, I knew I'd been caught, since otherwise he'd never call me at that time.

I answer the phone ready to shit myself with fear of the inevitable consequences (my parents were pretty strict.)

"Um, hello?"

"Yea, megamole, are you at school?"

". . . No." [long pause]

"Are you on a field trip?"

". . . No." [longer pause.]

"Well where are you?"

"I'm downtown."

[there is a palpable silence here that must've lasted about 15 seconds.]

". . .Well are you parked legally?!"

And everything went better than expected.

Ambien's a helluva drug.

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